An Habitual Aborter

You just gotta love ob's. I went to visit my old infertility specialist's partner on Tuesday. Just to find out if there might be a reason why I keep losing babies. He said that I am what the obstetrics world calls "An Habitual Aborter". He of course apologized for it sounding so harsh. He says that is sounds really bad, but in his world abortion doesn't have the same connotation it does in mine. He also said that most women lose 1 out of 5 babies. That is average. I am above average. I said, "Well, at least I am above average in SOMETHING!" Anyway - he said that this is above his head and referred me to some big wig who writes scientific papers on Mid-trimester miscarriages for scientific journals. He is up at U of U and is in charge of some studies that are going on up there that I might qualify for. I left a message yesterday. I don't know if I necessarily want to be a lab rat. But I would like to talk with him and see if I can't get some closure or see if maybe there is some fix.

Anyway - I just wanted to write this down somewhere so I will always remember my new title in life!!!!

Speaking of babies and such, my friend Amber is "just about to pop!" heheheee... on her blog yesterday she was venting about how people feel the need to stare at pregnant bellies and compared it to men and their need to stare at breasts... I think that was pretty accurate! Anyhow - she absolutely cracked me up! I would like to pass along her advice to people everywhere about pregnant women!

"Word of advice- dont say to any pregnant person " WOW you look like your going to pop! How much longer?" or any other type of similar comment. I may look like a whale, but I bet I can still kick your ass if I wanted..."

Just please don't kick mine! I know she could even though she is only as big around as my pinky finger!! Even if she only has 30 days left!!!! I love you Amber!!!!

Work It Baby - Work It!!

Maggie has been walking up the stairs from the basement now. She still goes down backwards - thank goodness! But she now will only walk up the stairs - at least she holds onto the rail!

Scott was taking these pictures and she was totally working the camera! I can just see the cameraman yelling, "Work it baby!"

Between this and the pole dancing - I think we should be a little worried!

Tonight I got Maggie her first pair of rain boots! Dallin gets a new pair every year and loves them. He wears them all the time! We are preparing for our April trip to the Redwoods and it will be muddy and rainy. So I figured we ought to get Mags her first pair! She loved them and wore them all over the house!

Then she puked at dinner and her boots caught a bunch of it! Way to break 'em in!

Temple Square

We decided to slough church today. We thought it would be good to spend time together as a family and go to Temple Square. We have never taken Dallin there before. So off we went!

I love my new lens. Look how close up I can get to the angel Moroni!!

When we got there it was beautiful! 55 and windy. We knew there was a storm rolling in... Dallin was having fun chasing the leaves that were blowing around.

Dallin just loved Temple Square. He was very interested in all of the huge paintings and statues. Here is Dallin looking and listening to the story of Moses receiving the 10 commandments...

He also loved this model of the city of Jerusalem.

I love this picture of my children at the feet of Jesus. We heard a lot about families being together forever. I think that this was exactly what I needed today.

But then we had to cut our visit short. It was pouring as we were leaving.

Both kids were asleep as we reached Scott's parents exit (we went over for dinner) so we continued on the freeway to prolong the inevitable stopping of the car and waking of the children... This is what we saw coming over the city!

We had a wonderful Sunday - spending time together as a family and thinking about our children that we will meet again someday.

Charity and Love

We have felt so much love from so many people. We are so very grateful for the love, the phone calls, the meals, the desserts, the cards, the cactus (that was very cute - "I know things are thorny right now").... Things are going very well. I have recovered fully. I haven't needed my pain medications for 3 days now.

Friday night a friend of mine and I went out to find me a purse. I haven't had a purse since Dallin was born. He just turned 4. Maggie is at the point where I can get away with 1 diaper and maybe a bottle when we run out for something. So I decided that since I won't be using a diaper bag really that I needed to get a purse! It was a little nerve racking going through the purse section, but I did find one that is just perfect!!

Saturday morning I was taken to breakfast by a bunch of friends at 8:00 am. It was so fun and very much needed. When I was dropped off at home, I wasn't even all the way through the front door and smelled something odd. I looked at my living room and saw something odd. While my sneakster friends had me out to breakfast, some other sneakster friends had come into my home and cleaned it top to bottom. I ran into my spotless, very clean smelling bathroom and cried. I have such wonderful amazing friends!

Since my house was spotless, we decided to go as a family to the Airplane Museum. It was really fun!

Look at this HUGE tire!!!


This plane is amazing! It can fly at 80,000 feet or something... Crazy!

We had a wonderful day!

PS.. I am so happy! Some of my tomato plants are getting their true leaves!

Hope

So - 2 hours ago I found out some pretty devastating news. We, once again, have lost a little baby. Strangely, I am not as much devastated as really pissed off. Although I have done my share of crying these past 2 hours. Don't think I am not sad - but I think at this point I am more angry. Angry that I have to keep going through the 1st and worst trimester. Why can't I lose them before the sick part happens??? And another totally superficial thing to be concerned with - what are we going to do with $1600 in our cafeteria plan?!?!?! I have been joking about getting a boob job. Maybe I will look into the cost of that!

I get these LDSNuggets in my email box every couple of days. Today's when I got back from the doctor's office read:

"And now, I hope it is clearer why part of that hope in Christ is hope in the future, a future that includes resurrection and salvation and exaltation. He is my hope on rainy Monday mornings, my hope on dark nights, and my hope in the face of death and despair."

He (Jesus Christ) really is my hope on this sunny but sucky Tuesday morning. On this very dark day in the face of the death of my 3rd baby. Why this keeps happening? I don't really know. But I do know that before this life I knew that this is what I would face. And I decided to come here anyway because Heavenly Father would help me face it.

I will probably take a little break from posting. But hopefully I will be put back together by Monday with more pictures and fun stories about my 2 beautiful, wonderful, healthy, amazing children. (and that hunk of a guy I get to call my eternal companion!)

Cell Phones...

Dallin's primary teacher came to me today to tell me of something that happened last week in his class. She said that they were talking about when Jesus was teaching in the temple and his parents couldn't find him. He was lost. Dallin said to his teacher - "Well, if he had a cell phone he could have just called them."

Technology and children nowadays. Isn't it a little wierd!??!!??

Valentine's Day

Exactly 3 years ago today, we had been living in our home for 2 weeks. My son was 2 weeks past his 1st birthday. (We moved in on his birthday) He loved to stand on the chair in the kitchen and play in the sink. Mostly he liked to stir water and pretend it was something to eat and put whatever he was stirring with in his mouth. It was very cute. And served as GREAT entertainment while I made my husband an incredibly deliciously amazing meal. (Although I can't remember now what it was except for the asparagus) As I was preparing my wonderful delightful meal - it involved chopping asparagus - which Scott isn't a fan of because he says it makes - well, that is makes his, ok... his pee stink. (ok.. I said it) As I am chopping away, Dallin falls off the chair onto his back. He cried and I thought to myself, I really shouldn't put him back on the chair. But because I was on a mission of chopping the vegetables, I did it anyway. Within a minute later he was back on the floor on his back screaming even harder. This time I noticed a bloody spoon on the floor. I freaked out. I didn't know where the blood was coming from, just that there was a TON of it! Did the spoon puncture the back of his throat? Was it the top of his mouth? Was it his tongue? UGH! And of course our pediatrician's office is still in Salt Lake. And it was 5:01 pm anyway and they wouldn't be open. So I called the KidCare by our house and they said that they had an appointment at 6:00 pm or something. In my mind, my son would bleed to death by then! Finally the bleeding slowed and I found that he had punctured his tongue almost halfway from the side to the middle. We don't have an ice maker in our house and so didn't have any ice and it was the middle of winter so of course no popscicles... I called my neighbor asking her to come over with ice. Although he wouldn't suck on it. Finally I calmed down and called the doctor's office back. They said there really isn't anything that they could do about a tongue wound. It did heal incredibly fast. But the scar is still there. Everytime I see it I feel this rush of total guilt that I put him back on that chair! I don't know if you can really see it in this picture. I can - simply because I know where to look.

Also, please excuse the little red spot on the side of his mouth. He licks it all the time and it is constantly red and chapped.

So this year, while the kids are down (except I hear D tromping around upstairs) I got most of dinner made. I roasted garlic for the first time in my life... I am making Pioneer Woman's Garlic Mashed Potatoes.

Grilling some ribeyes... I know this is a lot for us, but I had frozen it in a three pack intending to use it for something else. He can have a really great lunch tomorrow and maybe share with some people at work!

And then I am trying my hand at an apple pie. I am not much of a pie maker. But I don't really know how you can go wrong with Pillsbury Roll out Dough and Pie Filling canned by the neighborhood canning guru!

But shhhhh... Don't tell Scott. It's a surprise! Along with the $30 bouquet of roses I bought myself!!! (just kidding)

Happy Valentine's Day everyone!!

Ramblings of a proud mother

This post is going to be ramblings about nothing really - yet of some of the people that are most important to me - therefore it's really about everything...

Yesterday after church we got both kids down. So Scott and I decided to nap as well. Hey - it's Sunday and we have early church. Isn't that what you are SUPPOSED to do? Well, D decided to get up after an hour or so and he went down to watch a cartoon. I was like, fine! Let me sleep some more. A little while later he comes back up and M is starting to cry. (This is how incredibly LAZY I am!) I asked D to put some books in M's crib so that she could look at books until I decided to get up. My good little man went and did what I asked. Then went back downstairs again... A little while later I am hearing M huck the books out of her crib. She kept throwing... and throwing... and throwing... I did wonder where she was getting all those books to throw. But being the LAZY Sunday afternoon that I was enjoying - I didn't bother getting up to check. Then Scott went in to get her. He let me know that I needed to look at her room when I got up. So I did... When I got up... It wasn't right then...

I think that D put every stinking book that was in her room into her crib!!! What an obedient little boy!!

Today D decided that he wanted to go and spend his birthday money at Toys R Us. So we got ready to go. I called for M to get her coat on. She LOVES to get her coat on. I think she thinks it means she gets out of our house for a bit. Well - she USED to love to get her coat on. Now she thinks it is totally fun to run the other way. She runs and laughs as hard as she can. Today she found a new spot to hide from me. Lucky for me there isn't anywhere for her to go after she hides here.

She runs into the bathroom and hides under the bathroom sink. I wonder how long it will take her to realize that she is right where I want her there!!??!! Little stinker!

So then D decides that he REALLY REALLY wants a Captain Jack Sparrow outfit. That and some cars pretty much used up all but $2 of his b-day money. But hey - whatever! I was not wanting him to get it AT ALL! But I have to admit that he looks pretty funny! After quiet time we are going to put the painted eyes on D's eyelids. Yes - it comes with about 10 pairs of eyes, a bird tatoo, 3 rings, his compass, belt, sword and bandana with braided hair coming out of it!


Then for lunch I decided that I was craving rice and kim. Kim is salted roasted seaweed. It's Korean. I bought some last week. It is REALLY yummy!


You take the kim and put it over the rice and then using chopsticks tuck both ends of the kim under some rice and stuff it into your open watering mouth. It is so yummy and crunchy and salty!! mmmmmmm... I was eating at the table with the kids and D decides he want to try it. I let him. He promptly spat it out and said, "That is YUCKY!" That is fine with ME!! I don't want to share anyway!! One plateful just wasn't enough so I got another plateful and some more kim. D said, "Is it going to taste any better than before?" I said, "No honey... It's going to taste the same." D - "Then I don't want to try it again - it was YUCKY!" heheheheheeee... But I guess I ought to be glad that he tried it, eh??

Oh - my children! I sure do love 'em!!!

Birthday Parties

So I think that maybe my friend who doesn't do birthday parties until her kids are 8 is pretty wise! Holy loud house! We had a house full of a lot of children today for Dallin's 4th Birthday party! He wanted a Star Wars party. I tell you what... Star Wars stuff is kind of hard to find. Spiderman, Diego, Dinosaur, Ninja stuff - everywhere. Star Wars stuff... not so much!

I made a cake for Dallin. I was going to try to do black icing - but then just decided to do chocolate. But I did find some action figures and a cute candle for it. D loved it...

He was waiting very impatiently for his friends to arrive. He sat on a chair to watch the clock on the microwave and wait for 11:00.

We had hot dogs, chips, lemonade...

I couldn't find a Star Wars pinata - so we had a triceratops (sp?). Close enough.

He blew the candles out of the cake before we even got halfway through the Happy Birthday Song... oh well!

We had a pin the computer on Darth Vader game. That was kind of fun. We had Star Wars going during this game since it was a one kid at a time game.

Dallin got some blow up boxing gloves for his birthday. He and Daddy were boxing with them.

Then Daddy got both of them. D didn't have a chance!

I don't think Scott likes to use them for boxing??

Anyway - what a day. Things that I learned?? Hmmmm.... Only have a party for 1.5 hours. And preferrably do it outside your home if it's a winter party. Such as a bowling alley, skating rink, or something....

We did have a great party for Dallin. I think he had fun. And then he actually slept during quiet time afterward! That was the best!

That dang groundhog!!!!

Snow Snow and more snow!!! I know it is needed. I know we don't want to be in a drought. I know I don't want my house flooded this spring too! I haven't seen snow like this at all since living in Utah. This is truly absolutely crazy. It is quite fun on days that we don't have anything to do or anywhere to go... But my poor husband has to drive all the way into Salt Lake for work every Mon - Fri. We are almost out of milk and will probably have to go out after naps. But honestly... I think everyone is pretty sick of shoveling this stuff!! So I read on the internet that the groundhogs were split. One said 6 more weeks of winter and one said it's around the corner. I think we are in for the 6 more weeks.

Here is our birdbath. The snow has almost made it up to the bath part.

Here is Dallin's lawnmower that he was using as a snowblower on our grass. He got tired of it and didn't bring it in. I think it is out there for the duration. Didn't we have some swings out there??

Here are my raised beds. I do dream of the day that I can get out there and start working!

This is the front of our house. Poor Scott has piled all this snow up on the sides of our driveway.

This is the street. Yes - our mailman came to me and said, "Ma'am - I need to talk to you about your mailbox." I know - I know. He has to be able to drive up to it. Well would you tell the snow plow people to stop piling it in front of our mailbox then!!???!!!???

And this is the 80 some odd widow down the street who is shoveling out her driveway. Although, she doesn't drive. Doesn't even own a car. I do feel a twinge of guilt that I am not down there helping her. Instead I am just taking her picture.

SO - what are WE doing this fine snowy day??? PLANTING TOMATO AND PEPPER SEEDS!! And Dallin wants to plant a few sunflower seeds. It's a little early... but heck - why not?? We got a sunflower head from Miles and Marian that was about an 8 foot sunflower. Hopefully ours grow that big too!

So I got these little pellets. They are supposed to grow in water.

They aren't growing very fast... So what are we doing while we are waiting? Making fish faces...

And jumping from chair to chair...

And then they still aren't rising very fast so the kids are watching Signing Time while I am blogging. I love this Signing Time. It's about Pizza. Have you ever had bread on you pizza? How about ice cream?? You probably won't get that unless you have watched the 3rd Signing Time. Sorry...

Well - MANDY and JARED!!!!! Enjoy your 67 degree weather in Texas! (Oh and Kevin in Texas) We are just enjoying our snow. (not) If this keeps up we won't be able to see the birdbath at all!!!!

By the way - we were telling Dallin to go to his room the other night and Maggie yells out "GO" with both pointer fingers pointed out in front of her. I guess she is learning from the Signing Time videos!!

Another by the way - I have had 3 days of NOT BEING SICK!!! I am so incredibly happy right now!!!!!!! Maybe I have passed the sick hump!