Dearest Maggie...

I just can't believe that my baby is 2. I SO totally did not want to have a girl baby. I just didn't think it was what I wanted... But luckily I did get to have you! You decided to grace us with your presence a little early. About 12 days early. My mother was flying in to help get the house in order and meals in the freezer.

On Saturday night/Sunday morning at midnight I heard a gunshot. I went out to the front room to see if it was going to continue or not. I wanted to get Dallin out of the front bedroom if there was going to be more. As I was looking out the window I noticed that I was bleeding and called the doctor on call. They said it wasn't anything to worry about. So I tried to go back to bed. I just had a bad feeling.

Finally at 2:00 am we called a friend to come over to stay with Dallin while we drove the 30 minutes into Salt Lake to have the doctors check me out. I figured we would be back home by 5 am. We had a test run and the nurse said that we would probably be going home shortly. After the results came back she said, "Get comfortable! You are having a baby!"

Well - I wasn't having contractions. So after a few hours they gave me some medicine to start them. Then I had my epidural. And I gave myself PLENTY of drugs. At 8:57 am the doctor comes in (an on call one because it was Labor Day weekend and my doc was on vacation!). He starts putting on his gown and gloves. I am getting a little nervous at this point. I asked what was going on and he said I was having a baby. I started to panic. Labor was NOT easy with Dallin. I started going into details what the labor was like: pushed for 3 hours, contractions stopped, he wasn't breathing, he was a 1 on the APGAR, etc... The doctor looked at me and said, "Monica, I am putting on my gloves. That means you are having the baby right now. I promise you won't push for more than 5 minutes." WHAT???

I started to push. Since I had given myself PLENTY of epidural drugs I simply couldn't feel anything at the 1st push... Then the 2nd push. I yell, "AM I DOING ANYTHING AT ALL???" I hadn't gotten a good job or keep going or anything. They all say, "She's almost here." 9:02 am my cell phone rings. Scott asks if he should get it. NO!!!!! 9:03 am after my 3rd push you came out. Screaming. So I knew you were breathing. Scott actually got to cut the cord with you. They didn't let him with Dallin. When they put you on my tummy you weren't purple like D was. I was SO relieved!! You were so very tiny!

The cell phone call was from my mother who had just landed. So instead of going to my house to get it ready for a baby she came to the hospital to SEE the baby! I think she was thrilled.
You have had such a strong personality from the get go. You simply refused to eat. You were a few hours old and you would push me away, push a bottle away. You just wouldn't have it! You have been such a different child than Dallin was. Much harder for me to understand. To figure out. You have no fear, which scares me to death. You have such a brilliant smile and laugh! It just lights up everything around you! You love your big brother like no other. You try to do everything like him. Except that you enjoy eating dirt and he doesn't. I am still trying to figure that one out.I love your curls that bounce up and down when you prance around. Even though you won't let me brush them. I love your face when it lights up at something you find incredibly fun! Even when it means I have to clean up a huge mess. I love that you love to be outside and play. Even when I have to take you kicking and screaming from the park. I love your independence and stubbornness. Even when I KNOW I could help you get it done faster. I love your thoughtful/creative ways of getting something that you want. Even if it means I have to re-paint 2 rooms in my house. I love that you love me. Even when I am short tempered and cranky.

I love you my sweet girl. Just exactly as you are. Messy hair, face and clothes, independent, who cares what the world thinks Maggie!!